15.8.11

多春















久違的直接畫法,不做底色。

試圖找回那年唸研究生的心情。

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經常覺得這樣就很好看了。

這種朦朧的輪廓,像深藏著某種難以言喻的意蘊。

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如果要繼續,該怎樣切入?以甚麼姿態進入?

畫得那麼清晰,好看麼?必要麼?

如果可以這樣就放著,不必深入經營,行不行?

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就這樣,諸如此類的問題,老困擾著我。

困擾得想睡覺。

睡覺去。睡覺去。

10.8.11

Kedai Kopi Sungai Jarom

'Kedai Kopi Sungai Jarom ', 2011



Title: Kedai Kopi Sungai Jarom 雙溪嘉隆咖啡店
Medium: Oil on linen
Size: 4’ x 4’ each panel
Year:2011


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我是在咖啡店文化的熏陶下長大的孩子。

Kedai Kopi Sungai Jarom是我阿公最喜歡光顧的咖啡店,在他還年輕時,他的創業兄弟和友族朋友經常都在這裡聚集,喝茶、吃早餐,或聊天。在電視仍未十分普及時,他們在這裡交換各種同業資訊,及社會人文消息。在他的影響之下,這間咖啡店也成為我兒時記憶的一部分。

我的家鄉——仁嘉隆新村(Jenjarom)——裡頭住的大多數都是華裔家庭,和少數的印裔家庭。隔了一條大馬路的另一頭,則是雙溪嘉隆(Sungai Jarom),是馬來甘榜地區,聚集了大多數的巫裔家庭。這點對當時年幼的我來說,是件非常自然的事,似乎日常習俗不同,便得各自生活。待我日後長大,才慢慢了解某些歷史因由,才導致了如今的族群分隔情況。

然而Kedai Kopi Sungai Jarom便成為了兩村人民的交流平台之一,在這裡,我才有機會看到各族家庭融洽地用餐,話平常,輕易構成一幅水乳交融的畫面。因此,咖啡店促進了各族人士的交集。

Kedai Kopi Sungai Jarom的歷史,也許在國家獨立初期就開始了,也許更長。但非常肯定的一點是,在裡面活動的叔叔和伯伯們,都見證過國家獨立的重要時刻,他們喜悅過,感動過,曾經對初生嬰兒般的新馬來亞有過十分積極而熱情的嚮往,覺得未來充滿各種可能性。

這得感恩於我們建國先賢的智慧,和海納百川的胸襟,在爭取國家獨立以前制定了神聖的社會契約,除了規劃族群公平分享原則,並強調個體自由和平等。

但在今天,這些對獨立初期安定繁榮之景仍有印象的先輩,失望而沉默,他們對建國原始構想的寄望開始消失了。他們仍然在咖啡店裡用餐,但是氣氛裡多了一絲猜忌,一絲疑惑,和一絲不安定的心情。這些憂慮,開始使統一走向分裂,並影響了下一代的孩子,使他們膽怯靠近友族,伸出友誼之手。

年輕的新一代,喜歡在咖啡店用餐的也不少,但是他們聚集在咖啡店裡的原因,跟先輩們不太一樣,在言論空間被箝制的情形下,他們選擇在夜晚時分,在咖啡店跟同族友人抱怨時事,傳播負面情緒。這些負面情緒,一直未能被妥善地疏導,乃至逐漸影響新世代的社會凝聚力。

伊索寓言裡有這麼一句話:團結則存,分裂則亡(United We Stand, Divided We Fall),特別獻給獨立五十四年後的馬來西亞人民。



I was born and grew up in an environment of Kopitiam Culture.

Kedai Kopi Sugai Jarom was my grandfather most favorite shop, when he was young, his business brothers and multiracial friends always gathered here for tea, break fast and chit chatting. That time, television was not popular, they were here to exchange information of same line business, news of society and cultural, and this has made the Kopitiam (Traditional Coffee shop) part of my childhood memory under my grandpa's influence.

My hometown Jenjarom consists of mostly Chinese families and few Indian families. The other side of the next street is Sungai Jarom, a Malay Kampung (Malay village) with mostly Malay. Each race has their living custom and culture; this became my childhood natural background. Later on, I slowly understand that some historical factor cause today all races living individually.

Kedai Kopi Sungai Jarom was a communication platform for these two village people. Here, I can see those families from different races mix with each other naturally. It was a place to meet up with people, and to exchange and understand all kind of feeling from different people.

The history of Kedai Kopi Sungai Jarom may begin from the time when National Independence or even earlier. It is very sure that all uncles who were actively gathered here witnessed the important moment of National Independence, with joys and touch deeply felt from all of them. They were full of passion and positive toward all kind of future impossibilities for our baby born Malaysia.

It is truly Malaysia! We are deeply grateful with our ancestor wisdom for they have made the holy society contract which tolerates different voice and entity, not only under the principle fair to all races, and also to individual freedom and equality.

But today, for those elderly who can still recall the peaceful and prosperous situation when Malaysia just be Independent, they are just silent with disappointment, their hope for the country begins disappear.

Although they are still having meal in the Kopitiam, the doubtful and uncertainty feel exist in the atmosphere.  When doubts begin, we are toward separated from united. It affects the next generation, they become less dare to close to those from different races and be their friend.

Nowadays, new generation like to gather in coffee shop for the reason different with elderly last time. Under the situation as today, we have less freedom of speech, young generation prefer to have a drink at coffee shop at night, with friends of own race. They criticize current affairs; their negative emotion is spreading with no better guidance and release channel, it even affects the social cohesion of new generation.

A saying from Aesop Fables,“ United We Stand, Divided We fall”, specially dedicated this to all Malaysian for Malaysia her 54 years-Independence.

Translated by Grace Ng Hit Wea

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這是特別為國家畫廊所辦的國慶藝術聯展所畫的一幅畫,也是十一月個人展的其中一組三聯畫。這幅畫,凝聚了我對親人、家鄉和國家的情感。

我常跟人說,2009年是我創作的空白期,這一年,除了全職教課,及做一些小說插圖外,其餘時間就給了家裡的老人們——幫阿嬤洗腎、配阿公喝茶、聽老媽訴苦,等等。那一年,得了一些獎,致使職業走向做了一些調整。身體也意外出了一些狀況,才惹起一些好壞參半的變化來。

阿公去世以前,我的日常活動,便是載他和小弟到處喝茶,認識他的茶友。這些茶友,各族比率均等,彼此情感濃厚,常有互爭埋單的請客風氣。有段時期,阿公甚至熱衷尋找失去聯繫已久的故友,這種尋找,必須經過幾手,才能搭成一條脈絡出來,不太省事(是否人在大限以前,就會想起一些不可錯過的重要朋友來,也許為了說一聲道別,或道謝的話?)。可惜的是,故人早在幾年前作古了。當時就在想,從前到底發生過什麼事,才能促成這樣的一種想念?

後來阿公在咖啡店,用他那濃郁的福建口音,陸續地說了很多從前的故事,說他那些從福建乘船繞道香港,後在新加坡落腳,再輾轉來到馬國雙溪嘉隆的故事。可惜,有一半我都沒聽懂。但我知道,即使我全聽懂那些故事,它也不及事情原來面目的百分之一。這樣的口述歷史,畢竟很難勾勒出一幅完整的全貌,讓我一窺全豹。

所以,那些說不出來的驚心經歷,及並肩撐過風雨的故人情感,我只能從進出咖啡店的各族互動之間去揣測,遐想,才終於勉強湊成一幅飽含歲月記憶的早餐景象來。

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國家畫廊的國慶聯展資料如下:

Title of show:MANIFESTASI MERDEKA
Date:8 Aug - 18 Sept 2011
Venue: Balai Seni Lukis Negara,Galeri 2B

Opening Reception: 18 Aug, 6.00pm

屆時見!

6.8.11

人體寫生記















也許為了憑弔Lucian Freud,便在個人展逼近以前,插播了一次人體寫生的活動。

不過先決條件是,得有個浪漫的人,秉持著人體不過臭皮囊這麼一個浪漫的想法,才能挾天時人和之凌厲走勢而來,為此,我無法不湊個地利出來,才實現了畢業以來,第一個現場人體寫生的機會。

從草稿,色稿,到實際鋪色,就用掉了黃金般的一周,再浪漫,終要回到現實世界,各自經營生活去。這幾天內,為了捕捉那道稍縱即逝的光,和陰晴不定的色溫,兩人都吃了些苦頭。但這是人類劣根性使然,在凡人眼中,苦頭總要被放大的。事實上,甜頭所佔的比例要多一些。

最終,成果使人滿意,賺到的珍貴體驗,兩人都直呼過癮。畫面上仍未完成的那些,待我再兀自利用時間邊角,一點一點地把它堆砌出來。

多好啊,這種珍貴的寫生經驗。

行,期待下一個浪漫的人。


ps.我畫畫的時候少有做照相記錄,此回,總算有人替我把某些片段切了下來,還切得靚!